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• new_girl.yml

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locales.en.new_girl.yml Maven / Gradle / Ivy

# START new_girl_provider_dict
en:
  faker:
    new_girl:
      characters: [
        "Winston Bishop",
        "Cece",
        "Coach",
        "Jessica Day",
        "Nick Miller",
        "Schmidt"
        ]
      quotes: [
        "A no-nail oath? You thought I was gonna sleep with one of you, like I just couldn't help it?",
        "With your big, beautiful blue eyes and my Blair Underwood-like skin, we'd have the most beautiful baby the world has ever seen.",
        "Are you 'White Fanging' me?",
        "You are a beautiful white man, Nick Miller.",
        "Take these, and take care of them. I can get a tetanus shot, but I can't cure damaged suede.",
        "Please take that off. You look like a homeless pencil.",
        "Winston and Ferguson about to eat some pasta!",
        "Gave me cookie got you cookie!",
        "Can you believe the zoo wouldn't let me borrow their white tiger? I mean, the nerve! Philip Seymour Hoffman is going to be sitting at the back of the party thinking, 'Look at that guy. He couldn’t even get a big cat.'",
        "Did you just say 'butt drinking?' You can’t say 'butt drinking' and not explain what it is. That's two of my four favorite things.",
        "Are you cooking a frittata in a sauce pan? What is this – prison?",
        "If you had a jacket on with a bunch of yellow feathers, I'd be done.",
        "I had figure skating lessons until I was 13, and then my mom sobered up and realized I was a boy.",
        "Damp towel, damp! It’s like a really big wet nap. I feel like I'm being licked by a golden retriever. Look at this bathroom. There should not be two girls in this bathroom. You're too humid.",
        "I don't celebrate Christmas. Or, as I like to call it, 'White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night'.",
        "It hurts. I feel like I've laid a million eggs and they're all hatching. I feel like I want to murder someone and I also want soft pretzels.",
        "I don't know how it happened, man, but somehow I got on that woman's cycle of menstruation…and I got that menstruation inside of me.",
        "I don't want some janky freshwater bitch fish, Winston. I want a lionfish.",
        "I did laundry. I smell like a baby in a damn meadow.",
        "Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.",
        "I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.",
        "Nick is delicate. Like a flower. Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself.",
        "How's the new apartment? Does it smell like new paint and compromise?",
        "I was sabotaged by my baby box, which means I will never trust anything that comes out of it.",
        "I'm gonna end up alone. I’m gonna be a single old lady, flashing people on the subway.",
        "This place is fancy and I don't know which fork to kill myself with.",
        "If you need me, I'll be in my room, listening to some mainstream hip-hop."
      ]
# END new_girl_provider_dict