file.newsgroup.med.59019 Maven / Gradle / Ivy
From: [email protected] (Joseph Francis)
Subject: Re: Krillean Photography
In article <[email protected]> [email protected] (Brian M. Huey) writes:
>I think that's the correct spelling..
Crullerian.
> I am looking for any information/supplies that will allow
>do-it-yourselfers to take Krillean Pictures. I'm thinking
>that education suppliers for schools might have a appartus for
>sale, but I don't know any of the companies. Any info is greatly
>appreciated.
Crullerian photography isn't educational, except in a purely satiric
sense.
> In case you don't know, Krillean Photography, to the best of my
>knowledge, involves taking pictures of an (most of the time) organic
>object between charged plates. The picture will show energy patterns
>or spikes around the object photographed, and depending on what type
>of object it is, the spikes or energy patterns will vary. One might
>extrapolate here and say that this proves that every object within
>the universe (as we know it) has its own energy signature.
Crullerian photography involves putting donuts between grease-covered
hot metal plates while illuminating them with a Krypton Stroboscope.
Through a unique iteration involving the 4th-dimensional projection of
a torus through the semi-stochastic interactions of hot monomolecular
lipid layers covering the metal plates (the best metal is iron since
it repels Vampires and Succubi) the donuts start developing flutes,
and within moments actually become poly-crenellated hot greasy
breadtubes. Some people believe that food is the way to a man's heart,
but most psychics agree that there is nothing like hot Crullers for
breakfast; the chemical composition of crullers is a mystery, some
thought evidence of Charles Fort's channeling in Stevie Wonder's
production of "The Secret Life of Plants" when played backwards in the
theatre of unnaturally fertile Findhorn Farms has deduced that they
are complex carbohydrates ordinarily only found by spectoscopy in the
Magellenic Clouds. I called Devi on my Orgone Box and asked her if
this was really the case, and she TM levitated me a letter across the
Atlantic to tell me it was indeed not just another case of
misunderstanding Tesla, though the Miskatonic University hasn't
confirmed anything at all. At least the Crullers taste good; I got the
recipe from Kaspar Hauser.
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