data.3news-bydate.test.rec.sport.hockey.52647 Maven / Gradle / Ivy
From: [email protected] (Keith Keller)
Subject: Re: New Name for the Stanley Cup
Organization: University of Pennsylvania, School of Arts and Sciences
Lines: 56
Nntp-Posting-Host: mail.sas.upenn.edu
In article <[email protected]> [email protected] (Ali Lemer) writes:
>
>Of course we need new position names for those unable to remember the
>very complicated hockey terminology:
>
>Old Name New Name
>-------- --------
>
>Centre The Guy in the Middle
>Left Wing The Guy on the Left
>Right Wing The Guy on the Right
>Defenceman The Guy Back There
>Goaltender The Guy in the Net (or "cage", as my mother calls it)
>Referee The Guy with the Whistle
>Linesman The Guy with the Arms
>Coach The Guy in the Suit
>GM The Head Guy
>Puck The Black Thing
>Red Line The Line in the Middle
>Blue Line The Line on the Side
>Crease The Place in front of the Guy in the Net
>Faceoff Circle The Round Thing Where They Stand
>Slot or Point Over There (must point to accompany term)
>Bench The Place Where They Sit
>Penalty Box The Place Where They Sit When They're Bad
Mr. Bettman The Guy in the Wrong Sport
Mr. Stein The Guy Who Should Be In Charge But Isn't
Of course, we also need new names for the individual awards, and other
stuff like the President's Cup.
President's Cup The Trophy Given To the Best Regular-Season Team
Hart winner The Most Valuable Player, chosen from the
Guys in the Middle, the Guys on the
Right, the Guys on the Left, the Guys
Back There, and the Guy in the Net,
though typically given only to the
Guys in the Middle and the Guys on
the Left and on the Right
Norris winner The Best Guy in the back; or, the Guy who was
awarded for something even though he
is not one of the Guys in the Middle
or on the Left or the Right
...ad nauseum.
:-)
--
Keith Keller LET'S GO RANGERS!!!!!
LET'S GO QUAKERS!!!!!
[email protected] IVY LEAGUE CHAMPS!!!!
"Next time you go over my head, I'll have yours on a platter."
-- Cmdr. Benjamin Sisko, 1993