data.3news-bydate.train.rec.sport.baseball.105098 Maven / Gradle / Ivy
From: [email protected] (unknown)
Subject: Re: bob vesterman's plan to generate fan interest
Organization: Purdue University
Lines: 54
In article <[email protected]> writes:
>the owners are whining about baseball not being popular among a
>large enough portion of the population, and have suggested various
>"remedies", such as shortening the game or trying to convince us that
>"smoke'embake'emdominatebysheerintimidation" is an accurate description
>of what is, essentially, a laid-back game.
>
>forget those lame ideas. here is my new and exciting two-point plan to
>generate interest in baseball among the masses.
>
>point one: sex.
>point two: violence.
>
>let's face it, sex and violence are the only things that sell in
>america. here's how we can implement them in the game:
>
>sex: cheerleaders, cheerleaders, and more cheerleaders. dancing on top
> of the dugouts. bringing hot dogs to the umps during the seventh
> inning stretch. running up and down the stands. (the south bend
> white sox actually do this).
>
>violence: baseball players are such utter wuss boys. the pitcher beans
> the batter, and both benches empty in what is called a "bench-clearing
> brawl". EVERYBODY JUST STANDS THERE AND LOOKS AT EACH OTHER. stand,
> stand, stand. look, look, look. ho, hum. then, the bullpens
> come running in. when they reach the "fight", they just stand
> there, too.
>
> anybody coming off the bench who does not throw at least one punch
> should be suspended and fined. further, the bullpens should fight
> it out in the outfield, so as not to waste time and energy running
> to the infield.
>
>
I think what Bob is describing here is a game which MAD magazine
called 'Basebrawl'. I have no idea what issue, but it sure did cover
the violence issue.
paul
football: sex, violence.
>basketball: sex, violence.
>hockey: violence.
>baseball: "da pastime of da nayshun!" - yawn.
>
>bob vesterman.
>